well, thanx for the replies to my post. i have read them with interest. can i just point out that what 'god'(or whatever, maybe Zeus)taught me is that messiahs happened for THOUSANDS of years BEFORE jesus. the same 'theme' runs through many stories/myths. e.g. jesus and judas, though not literally brothers were 'sons of..'(god and satan), like cain and abel. the cain and abel story was illustrating how fierce the rivalry was between them. MY 'judas's surname was McDonald("old macdonald had a farm..."), my name is Nick('new nick', asopposed to 'old nick'(name for the devil)). we both attended the same course in music at college and there were some strange 'bits' to our relationship, which if i am sent an email address for people interested, i will send you more details. as for leading by example, do you think i wasn't trying when i got sectioned??? unfortunately, one of the main symptoms of schizophrenia is 'delusions of grandeur', so you see whatever i try and do there will always be somebidy 'persecuting me' for hearing voices(which is what schizophrenia means-look in a dictionary). and anyway, the BBC produced a diocumentary that actually stated that 'were jesus around today doing the same things, he would be diagnosed as suffering fromj a mental illness'. so that KINDA proves my point-the 'new messiah' WOULD be schizophrenic just by hearing the voice of 'god'. don't you have any knowledge of the perseus myth? he was born in a shower of gold, in a cave. i was 'reborn' by a flash of light, AND, 3-4mojnths before i was sectioned i heard a voice(which i thought was my 'angel'-Bob)say "you were boren in a north london council flat". i was not, although i was born in a north london hospital so it is highly likely that i was CONCEIVED in a north london flat. perseus was probalbly conceived ina cave, jesus in a stable. both my parents are still alive(as were jesus')and i think that the 'son of god' name that the jews thought up is HIGHLY misleading. as Dr Berne pointed out in the 'laymans guide to psychiatry and psychoanalysis' it sghould be 'King of the world'(as 'god' created the universe and all in it). if you'd like to know exactly what happened in my illness i ask you to look at Berne's book in the chapter called "what is insanity?"-the illness descreibed is EXACTLY the same as mine,i.e. the same 'voice', the same sign, the same hallucination, the same love for a woman. i am sorry for assuming that you are a middleaged cgristian, i only said it because on the last 'sciforum' there was a man who was notorious for mouthing off about his own church and beliefs about god. he was well known on a couple of sites. all i ask is that you think 'outside of the box', think 'anointed'. look forward to your response.... Nick