Near Death Experiences (Caused by Humor)

[alexander]

So i know some of the more determined jokers have these situations where a well-placed joke gets you a hair's lengh away from getting killed by someone, usually of the opposite sex.

 

Personal examples.

 

Example one:

I was driving with a girl, friend of mine, somewhere, it was a long trip, and problems always arise on those, well with natural digestive processes and all. So we are in the car, a rest area is just a couple of miles ahead, and she motions to stop at the rest area. I ask her why (ofcourse all well realizing why, but still), and she answers "Cuz i need to 'go'..!" to which i reply "You need go? Peta wheel make you go." Yeah, i could tell, i got that look, you know, the kind that says that if you weren't driving you'd be getting killed right now...

 

 

Example two:

So another time in this town, the next state over, i'm walking down the main street and i see this table with two women that are promoting the "feminism" movement, whatever i dont have any problems with it, but the sign said everyobody welcome, so i stopped by and tried to sign up for feminist movement. They declined me because i am male, so i came out with "what about equality? we believe in the same things, you guys like women, i like women, you like shiny vibrating gadgets, i like shiny vibrating IT gadgets, you guys think more women should be on top, i dont care if she takes charge, we believe in the same things"... Yes that gets both stares from people and nearly physical action in an attempt to kill you, walking into a crowded place helps.

 

 

Example three:

I gave my friend (another girl, but she has recently gotten married and had a kid) a gift card to the VIP store, so she is standing there with here kid on her hands, in line to get something (honestly dont even remember what it was), at the cachier counter. I look down and pick up a vibrator (they had a special or something), turn around to her, i'm like "see, if you just used something like this, like i told you, you wouldn't have that problem on your hands now"... Yeah that didnt go so well with her, i might have gotten beat up later, i wont say... yes i did, and it reminded me again just how much getting kneed hurts.

 

So, these are some of my near death experiences... how about you?