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Posted

The giant virus, which can attain sizes of 40 pounds or more, depend upon and manipulate the amoebas that surround them. The virus can genetically program the amoeba that protects it to attain sizes of 60 pounds or more, and take on a variety of shapes, including shapes with prehensile extentions that provide locomotion for the virus/amoeba duality. In one instance, a member of the analytical team, Susan Plushbottom, was discovered to be, in fact, a virus/amoeba which had replicated the shape and behavior of the original human Susan Plushbottom. It is being suggested that the virus/amoeba was able to replicate her appearance after obtaining segments of her DNA in a process which the Ms. Plushbottom admits might be described as "sexual". She has refused to make further comments until after she speaks to her lawyer and obtains a pregnancy test.

Posted

Where did you get this? It reminds me of the Simpsons episode in which a news source turns out to be "a bunch of drunken frat boys." I have a feeling this may have originally appeared in the April 1 issue of The Scientist.

 

--lemit

Posted

You know, I thought I was commenting on the article, which I tried to read thoroughly, but now I realize I was distracted by the shiny Pyro comment dangling in front of me (or possibly by that "Plushbottom" in front of me).

 

Pyro, stop that! You know that I have the attention span of a sparrow in a hailstorm. Geez! Practice some restraint!

 

--lemit

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