Gregb Posted March 27, 2014 Report Posted March 27, 2014 List your favorites! #10 Why did the physicist disconnect his doorbell? He wanted to win the no-bell prize! #9 What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other? "Gotta split!" #8 Where does a chemist put the dishes? In the Zinc! #7 Neutrino. Who's there? Knock knock. (I suppose that's relatively funny.) #6 Two fermions walk into a bar. One orders a drink. The other says "I'll have what he's having." #5 A neutron walks into a bar, sits down and asks for a drink. Finishing, the neutron asks "How much?" The bartender says, "For you, no charge." #4 Two hydrogen atoms bumped into each other recently. One said: "Why do you look so sad?" The other responded: "I lost an electron." Concerned, One asked "Are you sure?" The other replied "I'm positive." #3 What is the Heineken Uncertainty Principle? You can never be sure how many beers you had last night! #2 How do you spot a chemist in the bathroom? He's the one who washes his hands BEFORE peeing! #1 Why are quantum physicists so bad at sex? Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position! Read more at http://www.top10-best.com/s/top_10_best_science_jokes.html#54UB9LyQPA6hx4x0.99 Flummoxed 1 Quote
arissa Posted March 28, 2014 Report Posted March 28, 2014 (edited) I remember a high school teacher telling the class this many years ago. For some reason it has always stuck with me, I love nerdy jokes too so if you have any bring them on! Have you heard the one about the sick chemist? If you can't helium, and you can't curium, you'll probably have to barium. Edited March 28, 2014 by arissa Quote
Gregb Posted March 29, 2014 Author Report Posted March 29, 2014 How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?Take their genes down. Quote
Lancewen Posted March 30, 2014 Report Posted March 30, 2014 I think this quaulafies as a science joke. At Duke University, there were four sophomores takingOrganic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all thequizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" sofar for the semester. These four friends were so confidentthat the weekend before finals, they decided to go upto the University of Virginia and party with some friendsthere.They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying,they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Dukeuntil early Monday morning. Rather than taking the finalthen, they decided to find their professor after the finaland explain to him why they missed it. They explained thatthey had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to comeback in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flattire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't gethelp for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.The professor thought it over and then agreed they couldmake up the final the following day. The guys were elatedand relieved. They studied that night and went in the nextday at the time the professor had told them. He placed themin separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet,and told them to begin.They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It wassomething simple about free radical formation. "Cool," theythought at the same time, each one in his separate room,"this is going to be easy."Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On thesecond page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire? Buffy 1 Quote
adelarot Posted February 4, 2019 Report Posted February 4, 2019 Q: How do astronomers organize a party? A: They planet. 2. Q: Why can’t you trust an atom? A: Because they make up everything. 3. I just read a book about Helium. It was so good that I can’t put it down. 4. What do clouds do when they become rich? They make it rain! Read more jokes on: https://www.jokesforfunny.com/science-jokes/ Quote
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