Favorite Quotes

[alexander]

What can i say about this movie? The book is much, much better ... any book!

[Turtle]

buy land, they're not making it anymore. ~ mark twain

[Pyrotex]

Love is the most wonderful and the most precious thing that money can buy.

~ Steve Martin

[Turtle]

no one is rich enough to buy back their past. ~ oscar wilde

[Boerseun]

Those who say that money can't buy happiness don't know where to shop.

[Turtle]

i'm shopping around for something to do that no one will like. ~ jerry garcia

[Pyrotex]

Always keep a loaded Winchester in the kitchen when the oven is hot and the plates are stacked on the counter -- because, kids may be "precious" to their parents, but there's plenty more where they came from, and we ain't exactly hurting for spares as it is.

 

Nelson "Mean Old Codger" Thompson

[Turtle]

In my day we didn't have these thin laytex condoms so you could enjoy sexual pleasure. In my day there was only one kind of condom. You took a rabbit skin and wrapped it around your privates and tied it off with a bungee cord and you couldn't feel nothing! And half the time you didn't even know your partner was there. And we used the same one over and over again! 'Cause we were ignorant morons! Just a bunch of hairless, head-kabobs standing around with rabbit skins on our dinks and that's the way we liked it!

 

~ Dana Carvey, aka Grumpy Old Man

[Boerseun]

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

 

- W.C. Fields

[Boerseun]

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

 

- P.J. O'Rourke

[Turtle]

nonsense is so good only because common sense is so limited. ~ george santayana

[DougF]

“Wisdom is not a product of schooling but of the lifelong attempt to acquire it”

Albert Einstein

[Turtle]

what would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything? ~ vincent van gogh

[DougF]

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...

Louis Hector Berlioz

 

 

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

- Mark Twain

 

 

:shrug:

[Boerseun]

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

[geko]

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die the world cries and you rejoice.

 

Kabīr

 

 

Give me the place to stand, and I shall move the earth.

 

Archimedes

 

 

To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

 

Elbert Hubbard

 

 

History is more or less bunk. It's tradition. We don't want tradition. We want to live in the present and the only history that is worth a tinker's dam is the history we made today.

 

Henry Ford

 

 

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

 

Albert Einstein

[Turtle]

he has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help. ~ abraham lincoln