My Partner Is A Complete Nerd

[wiseshopper]

My boyfriend is a Science and Computer nerd. I love him but it actually annoys me that these topics are the only things he talks about. I feel bored and annoyed at the same time. Any tips on how I can survive this? Do I have to read up on these topics or just show fake interest to avoid hurting him?

[Vmedvil2]

My boyfriend is a Science and Computer nerd. I love him but it actually annoys me that these topics are the only things he talks about. I feel bored and annoyed at the same time. Any tips on how I can survive this? Do I have to read up on these topics or just show fake interest to avoid hurting him?

 

Lol, sounds like a Ex- girlfriend of mine, you can do either or but I think once you journey into science you will begin to enjoy knowing of this world and the universe works, I don't care what you do, you can always do what many people do around me, Mr. Medvil, I don't quite understand, they don't know the wealth of power they are missing from understanding the universe through the lens of science. I don't think it will hurt him if you don't share his passion or wanting to talk about science just tell him you don't find it interesting and to talk about something else, I don't think he would probably care, I know I wouldn't.

Edited July 30, 2018 by VictorMedvil

[wiseshopper]

That's interesting to know. I guess Science is pretty cool. But, too much of it will just suffocate me. Although from time to time, I try my best to watch educational videos to understand his favorite topics. But sometimes, I still want to figure out how to tell him to change the topic without offending him. I feel bad every time I pretend that I am listening when I'm actually getting really bored.

[GAHD]

You have a communication problem. Your best bet would be to be honest in a polite way now/soon before you get fed up and suddenly become honest in an exasperated way. It's normal for people to have their own interests, and it's healthy to set your boundary with clear communication. 

"show fake interest to avoid hurting him?" Is quite frankly the DUMBEST thing you could possibly do. You're setting up a LARGE hurt in the future to avoid MINOR discomfort in the present. Let me repeat that. Feigning interest to the point you get annoyed and bored is the DUMBEST thing you could possibly do. Communicate instead of being a liar. A lack of honesty and communication is a common problem with relationships turning sour. We have language to bridge the gap caused by out lack of psychic powers and lack of hive mind. If you PRETEND to be interested you are being dishonest when your boyfriend is expecting you to be honest. Every time you do it, you are reinforcing a false image in his mind of who You are and what YOU like. He will never know unless you tell him, just like You will never know what he dislikes about you unless he tells you. I'm sure there's plenty of things you two have a common ground, so just try to stick to those. You can also explore some other new things together for more common ground, and at the same time have "me time" for the things you each find distasteful in the other's interests.

 

Eg: I abosolutely detest Cosmo. One of the few "books" I'd gladly use for firewood. I recognize that some people enjoy it. Good for them. I communicate that to them if they bring it up, and we can talk about what we have in common. "I really hate Cosmo, [name]. I get that you like it, and that's fine, but it's just not for me. So-and-so seem to like it like you do though, so maybe talk to them about it." They can talk about it with their/our friends who are also interested. They know that I'm not interested. We move on to something in common, we have a good time.

 

[Vmedvil2]

GAHD is right you should just tell him, I promise it won't offend him though he may view you as stupid but I am sure that is already the case people can tell when you aren't listening and are just really bored, it is not like people don't notice things like that.

[A-wal]

Science isn't inherently boring to anyone, it's just that it's often presented in such a boring way that people think it is.

I'm sorry to say that it's probably just that your boyfriend is boring by nature.

Unfortunately those are the types of people that tend to be able to learn science in the boring way that it's taught and the cycle continues.

Edited August 4, 2018 by A-wal

[wiseshopper]

I had a heart to heart talk with my partner last night and we came up with an understanding that both of us should keep an open mind in our relationship. I admitted to him that he can be boring sometimes and he told me that I can be close-minded sometimes. I guess we just have to compromise with the flaws of one another and maybe look for guidance from relationship professionals.

[Vmedvil2]

I had a heart to heart talk with my partner last night and we came up with an understanding that both of us should keep an open mind in our relationship. I admitted to him that he can be boring sometimes and he told me that I can be close-minded sometimes. I guess we just have to compromise with the flaws of one another and maybe look for guidance from relationship professionals.

 

Ya, this is why I stopped dating years ago, I married the Job. It is too much of a pain in the butt to maintain and deal with a relationship plus I never found anyone that I remotely had anything in common with. That is when the single life looked way more appealing than a relationship plus no child support or kids to deal with someday as I just know I would have divorced or been divorced at some point like half the population.

Edited August 6, 2018 by VictorMedvil

[DaveFoster]

Science isn't inherently boring to anyone, it's just that it's often presented in biography a way that people think what is Max Polyakov's education?

I'm sorry to say that it's probably just that your boyfriend is boring by nature.

Unfortunately those are the types of people that tend to be able to learn science in the boring way that it's taught and the cycle continues.

My thoughts exactly!

Edited August 29, 2018 by DaveFoster

[GAHD]

Necromancy, I know. I think this is relevant for anyone that comes across a "boring science nerd" gap in the future though:

[cruisin84]

Try to show interest, he will really appreciate it if he could share his passion with you.