The Gun Goon Song

[montgomery]

AKA The NRA Song.

Guns are neat, Guns are sweet
Guns the tool, what makes you cool.
Guns are fine, Guns are mine
Guns are things, that Jesus brings!
Guns for loonies, Guns for cons
Guns for Moonies, Guns for moms!
Guns are fun for everyone,
buy them up by the ton.
Guns for me, Guns for you,
Guns for nuts and children too!
Guns at home, Guns at work,
Guns at play, Guns berserk!
Tons and tons of great big Guns,
Are tons and tons of great big fun!
I’ve got Guns up my nose
‘tween my ears and by my toes.
I’m no fool, I’m so cool,
I take Guns to my school.
I take Guns to my car,
to the store and to the bar.
I got Guns in a drawer,
in my pocket and on the floor.
I got Guns on the wall,
behind the toilet and in the hall.
I got guns in my bed,
one is growing from my head!
Get a Gun and get it fast,
Gun-Gun shoot-shoot is a blast!

[GAHD]

After all "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" even if some people think a pistol is "Devil's Right Hand" sometimes you just have to "Get Your Gunn"

 

[montgomery]

After all "Happiness Is A Warm Gun" even if some people think a pistol is "Devil's Right Hand" sometimes you just have to "Get Your Gunn"

 

 

It's anything but happy for the gun if the Goon fondles and caresses the gun in places that make the gun feel uncomfortable.

[Thoth101]

Montgomery what would you use to kill a moose? :lol:

[montgomery]

Montgomery what would you use to kill a moose? :lol:

I don't kill mooses but if I did it sure wouldn't be an unhappy and sexually molested gun. It's time for you to start answering some of my questions now and stop avoiding them. And I'm not going to stray off topic by spelling it out on 'what' questions! 

 

Suffice to say, it wouldn't take a cruise missile to kill a moose or meeses when an airplane would do the job more humanely.

Edited July 13, 2020 by montgomery

[balagna]

 

AKA The NRA Song.

Guns are neat, Guns are sweet

Guns the tool, what makes you cool.

Guns are fine, Guns are mine

Guns are things, that Jesus brings!

Guns for loonies, Guns for cons

Guns for Moonies, Guns for moms!

Guns are fun for everyone,

buy them up by the ton.

Guns for me, Guns for you,

Guns for nuts and children too!

Guns at home, Guns at work,

Guns at play, Guns berserk!

Tons and tons of great big Guns,

Are tons and tons of great big fun!

I’ve got Guns up my nose

‘tween my ears and by my toes.

I’m no fool, I’m so cool,

I take Guns to my school.

I take Guns to my car,

to the store and to the bar.

I got Guns in a drawer,

in my pocket and on the floor.

I got Guns on the wall,

behind the toilet and in the hall.

I got guns in my bed,

one is growing from my head!

Get a Gun and get it fast,

Gun-Gun shoot-shoot is a blast!

 

I hate this!

killing someone can never be humanistic unless that one kills another one.

Edited July 17, 2020 by balagna

[montgomery]

I hate this!

killing someone can never be humanistic unless that one kills another one.

I go even farther than you do on killing somebody. As a general rule with very few exception, I can't justify killing anybody.

 

However, this little poem is my attempt to initiate a discussion with others on the insanity of US gun laws and the subsequent abuse of those laws.

Thanks for your reply because it still does apply to their current situation.

[Thoth101]

I go even farther than you do on killing somebody. As a general rule with very few exception, I can't justify killing anybody.

 

However, this little poem is my attempt to initiate a discussion with others on the insanity of US gun laws and the subsequent abuse of those laws.

Thanks for your reply because it still does apply to their current situation.

The fact is in areas such as Chicago where there are stricter gun laws the gang members obtains guns illegally while the law abiding citizens can't have them or it is very tough to get legally. Pretty much permits the gangs to take over neighborhoods. And now they want defunding of the police. So you can see how this is all going to go. Pretty much the criminals and the military are the only ones with the guns.

Edited July 18, 2020 by Thoth101

[GAHD]

If this is a "guns kill people" thread rather than a "songs and poetry about guns" thread.


Guns don't kill people. Guns don't cause violence. The only time statistics show connections between guns and death is that when there's less guns there's more violent crime; this is likely because big muscly psychopaths can attack smaller people without fear of a pocket-pistol evening he odds.

The only statistics that show different are ones that narrow their focus (cherry pick) data to only show "gun deaths" and ignore "overall violent death rate." Examples of this abound, Chicago being one, London being another. London in particular is interesting because they have banned kitchen knives due to the violent psychos stabbing people (who don't carry a defensive weapon to fight back).

Guns are not the problem, people are the problem. The sick humor of it is that guns help solve the problem by eliminating problem people.

Ex: Metastudy https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S004723521400107X

Simple graph for people who don't like reading:

 

[montgomery]

If this is a "guns kill people" thread rather than a "songs and poetry about guns" thread.

safety.jpg

 

Guns don't kill people. Guns don't cause violence. The only time statistics show connections between guns and death is that when there's less guns there's more violent crime; this is likely because big muscly psychopaths can attack smaller people without fear of a pocket-pistol evening he odds.

 

The only statistics that show different are ones that narrow their focus (cherry pick) data to only show "gun deaths" and ignore "overall violent death rate." Examples of this abound, Chicago being one, London being another. London in particular is interesting because they have banned kitchen knives due to the violent psychos stabbing people (who don't carry a defensive weapon to fight back).

 

Guns are not the problem, people are the problem. The sick humor of it is that guns help solve the problem by eliminating problem people.

 

Ex: Metastudy https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S004723521400107X

 

Simple graph for people who don't like reading:

 

Gahd, you wrote:

 

................. this is likely because big muscly psychopaths can attack smaller people without fear of a pocket-pistol evening he odds.

 

We're not allowed to carry pocket pistols in Canada but you seem to be suggesting that small people should.

In the US the white people are terrified of big strong black men beating them up and so they need their pistols. I'm fine with that but I'm not fine with 'them' taking their guns to school to kill little people.

 

If you put a gun on a table it won't kill people.

If you leave your mask lying on the table instead of wearing it, it might kill people! 

That's not saying it's the mask's fault. It's clearly the unmasked goon's fault.

Do you see how it's logical to blame the gungoon and not the gun?

 

 

 

Edited July 18, 2020 by montgomery

[montgomery]

 So you can see how this is all going to go. Pretty much the criminals and the military are the only ones with the guns.

According to GAHD's graph, the number of guns is increasing in America. Does that suggest that the guns in the hands of the police and criminals only is increasing and as you suggest, nobody else  will own guns soon?

[GAHD]

We're not allowed to carry pocket pistols in Canada but you seem to be suggesting that small people should.

Not allowed to carry pocket pistols...And yet people still get shot and stabbed. By criminals. Criminals with illegal knives over 3inch blade length (one of our laws) and with illegal guns.

I'd personally alter the law so that everyone over 18 without a criminal record is required to carry a serviceable firearm, with the same restrictions as motor vehicles on drugs and alchy.

In the US the white people are terrified of big strong black men beating them up and so they need their pistols. I'm fine with that but I'm not fine with 'them' taking their guns to school to kill little people.

You are racist. Melanin content doesn't matter. Don't be racist.

I also agree that taking guns into a no-guns school zone is a cowardly thing. It's really weird that all the "mass shootings" seem to happen in gun-free zones though. Almost like the criminals in question are cowards who only want to attack unarmed people.

If you put a gun on a table it won't kill people.

If you leave your mask lying on the table instead of wearing it, it might kill people! 

That's not saying it's the mask's fault. It's clearly the unmasked goon's fault.

Do you see how it's logical to blame the gungoon and not the gun?

.No the tabled mask won't kill people. Inanimate cotton does not kill.

line 3 and line 4 of this quote do not actually make grammatical sense.

It is logical to blame the human mind behind a crime for the crime, yes.

It is also logical that an armed person is much less likely to have a crime committed against them. Because criminals are cowards.

[montgomery]

Not allowed to carry pocket pistols...And yet people still get shot and stabbed. By criminals. Criminals with illegal knives over 3inch blade length (one of our laws) and with illegal guns.

I'd personally alter the law so that everyone over 18 without a criminal record is required to carry a serviceable firearm, with the same restrictions as motor vehicles on drugs and alchy.

You are racist. Melanin content doesn't matter. Don't be racist.

I also agree that taking guns into a no-guns school zone is a cowardly thing. It's really weird that all the "mass shootings" seem to happen in gun-free zones though. Almost like the criminals in question are cowards who only want to attack unarmed people.

.No the tabled mask won't kill people. Inanimate cotton does not kill.

line 3 and line 4 of this quote do not actually make grammatical sense.

It is logical to blame the human mind behind a crime for the crime, yes.

It is also logical that an armed person is much less likely to have a crime committed against them. Because criminals are cowards.

If masks worn save lives then masks on tables cost lives. Therefore it's logical to say that guns laid on tables don't kill and guns not laid on tables do kill. That shouldn't need an explanation because I've already granted you that it's not the mask's fault.

 

And finally, if you choose to blame the gungoon and not the gun then we need to talk further about guns and how they can act out against Americans at any time. Did you hear the one about the dog that shot his owner dead with the owner's gun? That wasn't the dog's gun!

 

https://www.alternet.org/2014/12/mans-worst-enemy-6-negligent-gun-owners-who-were-shot-their-own-dogs/

 

Sic gun owners who were shot by their careless and negligent dogs.

Edited July 18, 2020 by montgomery

[GAHD]

And finally, if you choose to blame the gungoon and not the gun then we need to talk further about guns and how they can act out against Americans at any time. Did you hear the one about the dog that shot his owner dead with the owner's gun? That wasn't the dog's gun!

 

https://www.alternet.org/2014/12/mans-worst-enemy-6-negligent-gun-owners-who-were-shot-their-own-dogs/

 

Sic gun owners who were shot by their careless and negligent dogs.

Again, your grammar/logic here does not make sense. One of the two or both.

 

I read that as: If I choose to blame the "person" instead of the "inanimate object" you need to talk about "inanimate object" taking "animate action."

 

Example of incompetence doesn't really mean you should whitewash everyone as incompetent. If a doctor prescribes a medication that you turn out to be allergic to, are all doctors incompetent? Really this follows the same logic as "some men are tall. some doctors are men." and weather you can use those two statements to decide if the statement "some doctors are tall" is true.

 

Do please explain your logic.

[Thoth101]

According to GAHD's graph, the number of guns is increasing in America. Does that suggest that the guns in the hands of the police and criminals only is increasing and as you suggest, nobody else  will own guns soon?

Gun sales rise as coronavirus fears trigger personal safety. Monty criminals for the most part buy guns illegally which means they can't track the sales. Why would police need to buy more guns when every police officer is equipped with one already? What do you think the police will have 2 guns now? :lol:

[Thoth101]

 

Gahd, you wrote:

 

 

We're not allowed to carry pocket pistols in Canada but you seem to be suggesting that small people should.

In the US the white people are terrified of big strong black men beating them up and so they need their pistols. I'm fine with that but I'm not fine with 'them' taking their guns to school to kill little people.

 

If you put a gun on a table it won't kill people.

If you leave your mask lying on the table instead of wearing it, it might kill people! 

That's not saying it's the mask's fault. It's clearly the unmasked goon's fault.

Do you see how it's logical to blame the gungoon and not the gun?

 

 

 

 

That is a pretty racist thing to say. Your not right in the head Monty. Maybe you should seek some help.

[montgomery]

Again, your grammar/logic here does not make sense. One of the two or both.

 

I read that as: If I choose to blame the "person" instead of the "inanimate object" you need to talk about "inanimate object" taking "animate action."

 

Example of incompetence doesn't really mean you should whitewash everyone as incompetent. If a doctor prescribes a medication that you turn out to be allergic to, are all doctors incompetent? Really this follows the same logic as "some men are tall. some doctors are men." and weather you can use those two statements to decide if the statement "some doctors are tall" is true.

 

Do please explain your logic.

Fwiw, the guns are at it again in Tupelo right now, shooting into a crowd and injuring or killing a dozen of them or so.

 

I'm guilty of not changing my hat when talking to you after I've talked to Thoth. I have to work on that! You may have to do the same?

 

For instance, Thoth, not I would label all doctors as incompetent if one doctor prescribes wrongly. And furthermore, your example doesn't speak to a doctor making a mistake. (consider that logic) Had the doctor prescribed a medicine that he/she should have known would cause complications then he would be guilty of making a mistake. Then, the egregiousness of the mistake could be considered and punishment could be considered.

 

Do you see why I would have to provide a different explanation to Thoth, that would require me changing my hat first?

 

 

 

 I read that as: If I choose to blame the "person" instead of the "inanimate object" you need to talk about "inanimate object" taking "animate action."

 

You and I know that we can't blame inanimate objects all of the time, but we can blame them 'some' of the time. Does anyone doubt that the open sewers of the 19th. century and earlier were the cause of horrible diseases? This could also be true for used masks being left lying on a table. And of course it's a stretch to say that a loaded gun left lying on a table can't go off by itself if it has a hair trigger and an earthquake should happen. But it's still a possibility! You can't blame the earthquake or the table with murder.. But to more fully elaborate on that possibility, I'm going to have to change my hat again. I'll do that for my reply to Thoth.

 

edit: Correction, the guns are at it again in Peoria, Tupelo was last week.

Edited July 19, 2020 by montgomery