New Element Discovered

[C1ay]

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.

 

These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

 

However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to takeover 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

 

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

 

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".

 

When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.

 

Enjoy :doh:

[Tormod]

I wonder if governmentium is ring-formed, so that a fair amount of the reactions it impedes actually go straight through the hole and disappears.

[Turtle]

I wonder if governmentium is ring-formed, so that a fair amount of the reactions it impedes actually go straight through the hole and disappears.

Making Governmentium a hole in space you pour money into.

 

As to this "...This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass"." I have discovered by experiment that the Critical Morass requires only 2 Morons if 1 of the 2 Morons is a right spin Megalomanion. :doh:

 

If I can't stop laughing, I'm gonna peon a moron. :)

[erich]

Dear Folks ,

 

Can anyone find who is credited with this gem ?

 

A few people have asked to publish it but want to give proper credit

 

Cheers, Erich

[C1ay]

Dear Folks ,

 

Can anyone find who is credited with this gem ?

 

A few people have asked to publish it but want to give proper credit

 

Cheers, Erich

It would be my guess that it's in the public domain. A google search on governmentium returns 55,000 hits. I've seen it or similar copies several times through the years including on paper pre-internet explosion.