New Element Discovered in the wake of Katrina

[erich]

Subject: New Element Discovered in the wake of Katrina

 

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the

heaviest chemical yet known to science. This new element has been

tentatively named "Governmentium."

 

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons,

75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an

atomic mass of 312.

 

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are

surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

 

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it

comes into contact.

 

A tiny amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four

days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay

but instead, it undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the

assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,

Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since each

reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming

isodopes.

 

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to

speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain

quantity in concentration. This hypocritical quantity is referred to as

"Critical Morass."

 

You will know it when you see it. When catalyzed with money,

Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as

much energy since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[Tormod]

This was actually posted by C1ay a few days ago, in the watercooler.