Fairweather friends

[lindagarrette]

Why do people glom onto lucky people and distain those who have been victimized? Seems we should be generous and caring for people who are down on their luck, even if it is their fault. But instead we support and bolster the already fortunate. Even immediate families react that way. I think it is part of our animal instinctive behavior. Survival of the fittest and elimiation of the weak influence. What other explanation could there be?

 

I was just recently robbed of most of all my assets. Now, all the people who were once my friends have abandoned me. I was shocked, but not surprised. The perpetrator is facing a life prison term but that doesn't make things any easier for me. I don't know how I would react to someone if it had happened to them instead of me, but I hope I would have been more sympathetic.

 

Maybe this is another explanation. Perhaps people are afraid they are going to be asked for donations. ??

[questor]

Linda, it's always a shock to hear of an incident like what happened to you. i hope you still have your auto repair shop. some of your friends may still stand by you. it was probably a shock to them also, and some people just don't know how to respond in this type situation. for those who will come back to you, be welcoming. for those that don't, you don't need their company. i'm sure you have the strength to weather this storm. you still have

your brain and whatever qualities put you into the business in the first place.

i can only speak for myself, but i'm sure all the posters here wish you well.

Questor

[lindagarrette]

Linda, it's always a shock to hear of an incident like what happened to you. i hope you still have your auto repair shop. some of your friends may still stand by you.

Questor

Thanks, It was an employee who embezzled over two year's of my company's profits. He is facing 7 to 10 years prison but that doesn't help me much. Meanwhile, my family and many friends are blaming me for letting it happen and taking back all their praise for my successes. I think it's just a good example of blame the victim, like it's your fault if you get mugged, or raped, or fall off a ladder. There's truth in that philosophy, since we are all responsible for what happens to us, regardles of how deterministic those events may be. Still, one would expect some support in times of distress. Such occasions, however, remind us of how alone we truly are.

[InfiniteNow]

One possibility is that we've evolved dealing with viral infections and bacterial infections and all manner of things that make us ill and even sometimes die. The spread is an issue of contact and proximity. Now, we as a species have become so much more mental and abstract in our thinking through the millions of years life has been here that physical stuff is still trying to catch up.

 

Perhaps (and this is just a theory) our innate inclinations to avoid sickness and death spread by contact and proximity have spread into a more abstract concept of avoiding bad luck... as if it's somehow contagious and we don't want to "catch" it. It's a bit irrational, but might be the case all the same.

[InfiniteNow]

...or, it could just be that the people with whom you were associating were just a bunch of losers who really didn't care. It's aweful, but that's a more acute possibility.

[lindagarrette]

...or, it could just be that the people with whom you were associating were just a bunch of losers who really didn't care. It's aweful, but that's a more acute possibility.

Even so, they don't consider themselves losers. I'm the leper. Read the post by InfiniteNow 'The spread is an issue of contact and proximity.' Bad luck is contagious.

[InfiniteNow]

Even so, they don't consider themselves losers. I'm the leper. Read the post by InfiniteNow 'The spread is an issue of contact and proximity.' Bad luck is contagious.

:Waldo::Waldo::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

I am InfiniteNow?

 

Anyway, I really don't think it's contagious, just that we mis-perceive it to be.

 

 

Sounds like tough times. Best wishes during the transition. :beer:

[Racoon]

True Friends are what makes life more bearable and enjoyable.. :confused:

It's simply Human Nature that drives everyone to act basically in their best self interest.

 

If you had won the lottery Lindagarrette, you would 'suddenly' have so many old and new friends!! They'd be coming out of the woodwork.

Now that some A-hole destroyed your business, it may seem you have no friends or that they all just kinda disappeared..

 

Its similar to how people respond to attitudes and energy.

People don't like being around negative and pessimistic energies.

People are attracted to high energy and enthusiasm!

 

Its like " Moth to a flame ". When your business was good, ie. lots of flame, Moths were abound. Now that that flame has flickered and perhaps burned out, the Moths disperse for the next flame.

Everyone loves a winner. Nobody wants to hang around failure.

 

I sincerely hope you recover well from this incident! :Waldo:

 

If it seems that you have no friends now, then maybe you didn't have true friends to begin with. ( thats not a knock ) The Friends who DO stick around are your real friends. :confused:

 

Chalk it up as an important life lesson and recover and move on Lindagarrette!

[lindagarrette]

It's simply Human Nature that drives everyone to act basically in their best self interest.

True. Ayn Rand's philosophy should be called "subjectivism" rather than "objectivism."

Once self interest is compromised, compassion for others is abandoned. Only martyrs are willing to go down with the sinking ship. When it comes to survival, only the idividual's concerns are important, and even if it isn't a matter of survival, the individual's concerns are paramount. One of my most loyal employees walked out when I asked if he would mind putting in a little extra effort. He said "I'm sorry you are being hurt but I need to look after myself and my family first." Who could argue with that?

 

The lesson I learned from this episode in my life is that no one can be trusted. I had every confidence and legal documents to assure such a major theft would not occur or if it did, it would be my right to obtain judicial recourse. Only, the courts cannot make things happen quickly and meanwhile, I don't have sufficient resources to carry on much longer.

 

There are two things I learned, which I already explained.

 

Don't trust anyone.

 

Don't expect justice.

[Racoon]

"When you laugh, the world laughs with you; when you weep, you weep alone"

 

I think that everyone needs someone they can trust...

Hang in there!

[infamous]

 

Don't trust anyone.

 

Don't expect justice.

Tragically, I must agree with you on this Linda. I suppose the only thing we can trust is; Justice will not be realized without extreme effort, and then, possibly not even after that................Infy

[questor]

Well Linda, this is an interesting conundrum for you. i don't know much about you, but i can see you have been dealt a bad hand. what type work were you doing before you opened the auto repair shop( and why did you open such a business )? i am not trying to pry into your private life, just interested in your situation.

i must say that all businesses need to have very good inventory control and a hands -on manager. i, too, have suffered the stings of dishonesty. as far as the justice system..forget it. you will never get justice.

[InfiniteNow]

Haven't seen you around in a while, Linda... how's things?