What Do You Believe ???

[Pyrotex]

... only to find out it's to worship some *** who thought it was clever to give you hands, and then tell you not to masturbate...

I refuse to worship ANY god that doesn't want me to masturbate.

[Boerseun]

Extract from Genesis:

1.And then He created Man, and gave him hands with which to work, and He saw that it was good. 2. And God said: "Thou shalt not indulge in self-pleasure, for it is against My will for you to have any fun." 3. He located Man's phallus in the small of his back, at that little spot where he simply can't reach, so as to not lead him into temptation...

Extract from Leviticus:

1. And He spake unto them: "Thou shalt go into the Holy Tent and cut off your foreskin, for this is My will". 2. And they looked upon the Lord and said: "Uhm..., like, dude, we can't, like, you know, reach it, man." 3. And the Lord said: "Aw man - to hell with it. Forgot about that. Lemme change that for you". 4. And ever since then mankind have been jacking off.

[GreekTTC]

"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use." -Galileo Galilei

[Tarantism]

horray for science!

[Tarantism]

I refuse to worship ANY god that doesn't want me to masturbate.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

HAHAHAHA

*deep breath

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Pyrotex]

Extract from Genesis:

1.And then He created Man, and gave him hands with which to work, and He saw that it was good. 2. And God said: "Thou shalt not indulge in self-pleasure, for it is against My will for you to have any fun."...

Listen, if you ever get a hankerin to write, you know, a Bible?, I'll buy the first copy. If you give me a discount, I'll even be a prophet for you.

[Boerseun]

Good. The Boerseun is pleased, and will look upon you kindly. Boerseun have even decided to include one extra book, The Book of Pyrotex, in this Bible, to recite the tales of the True Prophet Pyrotex's Awakening, and conversion to the One True Faith.

 

Thus Boerseun spake.

 

Boerseun have also decided to look kindly upon Godly Marketing Techniques, and have decided in His Infinite Wisdom (praise be Boerseun) to undercut the competition. We will thus ask 9.99% of net income, and reward the True Believers with Eternal Life plus a day. But only for the next three hours.

 

Convert now, you heathens!

[Queso]

K!:Tupac:

[bpjg2fat]

spake? hah

[Queso]

spake? hah

 

:evil: :Tupac: funny, I laughed at that word too.

[Pyrotex]

Good. The Boerseun is pleased, and will look upon you kindly. Boerseun have even decided to include one extra book, The Book of Pyrotex, in this Bible, to recant the tales of the True Prophet Pyrotex's Awakening, and conversion to the One True Faith. ...Convert now, you heathens!

I believe you meant to say "to recall the tales" or "to recite the tales"??:hihi:

But far be it from me, a lowly prophet, to question his god!!! ;)

 

Now,if'n I may be allowed to offer a suggestion, I am posting here an attachment which reflects a recently discovered chapter out of the Book of Hezekiah, which most scholars thought never existed. For your consideration and approval...

 

(praise be Boerseun)

[Boerseun]

Verily, the Boerseun is pleased. Yea, like verily, can you dig it? :confused:

[Prophet of GORF]

I belive we live in a time of imperfect GORF consciousness,due to imperfect eyes we can not see the Supreme GORF. Yet those Gorfians who want to see him in material form are blessed by GORF, and to them He appears as a so-called "lawn ornament" to bless His Gorfian servent's lives.

Only the true GORF can help us progress in GORF Consciousness. In GORF Consciousness, our first thought is to know GORF and our relationship with Him. To know GORF is to know one's self, and to know one's self is to know GORF. This relationship can only be learned by worshipping the "Lawn Ornament". This is called the Fist Level of GORF.

Only when you have made a relationship with The One True GORF by worshipping the "Lawn Ornament" can you proceed to the next level. In the second level, one shall learn the six lessons of GORF:

1.Singing the Name and glories of the One True GORF.

2.Chanting His Name.

3.Worshiping the Lawn Orament.

4.the 1000 hour prayer "The Might of GORF" on the forth day of the week.

5.offering one self to GORF and being GORF's servent.

6.surrendering oneself to GORF.

[Prophet of GORF]

...that too many people are okay being spoon fed their information, and it's slowing us down as a species, as a culture, and as a community.

Lets Name Names then: OTO, AA, Golden Dawn, Cult of Lam, Crowley's Book of the Law,todays UFO cults, modern neo-pagan cults..ie wicca, and scientology... ... ... and of as a mater of FACT, The cult of GORF is not a part of any of these groups. In the Mind of the One True GORF, its ok to to be a Toad in the Pond, but these groups are Snakes in the trees...

[Tormod]

Apostate! Clearly Glenfiddich is the elixer of the Gods. You leave me no choice but to destroy your culture and salt your lands.

 

Huh, can't believe I missed out on this one.

 

You infidel dogs. Islay I say! Give me an ardbeg in a *real* whisky glass and I'll count myself king of infinite space. :)

[Boerseun]

I believe you meant to say "to recall the tales" or "to recite the tales"??:eek:

But far be it from me, a lowly prophet, to question his god!!! :wave:

(praise be Boerseun)

Boerseun have taken this correction seriously, and just to show how in tune with His prophets and generally groovy He is, edited His post accordingly.

 

You shall be generously rewarded in the afterlife.

 

Yea, verily.

[Pyrotex]

Boerseun have taken this correction seriously, and just to show how in tune with His prophets and generally groovy He is, edited His post accordingly.....

Godfrey Daniel!!! Sweet Mother of Pearl!!!

 

A god that takes suggestions and changes his mind! :eek:

Now that is my idea of a real god.

Anybody can worship a god that is omnipotent and omniscient! Child's play.

 

But it takes a real MAN to worship the Boerseun!!!

 

Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof! Woof!

:wave: :eek: :confused: :singer: