Rambling

[inside the sun]

What is fitting in and normal. Do people who stand out strive to, or try to. I honestly don't feel like i am the one responsiable for my isolation when i feel isolated,but maybe i am. I feel different, and its hard to connect and relate, and i def. don't think im better or someones worse, it's just hard to find someone who i can relate to. Someone who understands me and i understand them. This is natural and part of life yes? Everything is, how could it not be. But i swear when i look at others, it seams like its me..of course it isn't true, but there is that crazy part of all of us that will always question it.

[Eclogite]

What is fitting in and normal.

The two are closely allied. Everyone is associated with one or more cultures or sub-cultures. Behaviour defines these cultures and allows identification and discrimination. There is always a Gaussian distribution of match between the behaviour of the individual and the norm of the culture.

Do people who stand out strive to, or try to.

Some do, some don't. Some are answering an inner drive to excel, or to achieve something. They may consequently be loners, matching no culture or sub-culture especially well, or they may become leaders, shifting the behavioural patterns of the culture to which they belong. Some do this deliberately. [some 'leaders' spot a cultural trend and move just ahead of it, thus appearing to be leaders. Such people are called politicians.]

I honestly don't feel like i am the one responsiable for my isolation when i feel isolated,but maybe i am.

Adhering to cultural behaviour patterns in order to be part of a group is a common human attribute. Some people prefer to have a better reason for behaving in certain ways rather than just being accepted. If you feel isolated it may well be because you are not engaging in the accepted behaviour patterns of your proximal culture or sub-sultures. That is then your responsibility. You can choose to play the game and be less isolated, or take the consequences of refusing to be a sheep.

I often find it less of a hassle to eat grass and go baaah. Know how the game is played; decide whether or not, and to what extent, you wish to play it.

I feel different, and its hard to connect and relate, and i def. don't think im better or someones worse, it's just hard to find someone who i can relate to.

I believe a small, but significant proportion of the planet share this feeling of isolation. (Implicit ambiguity in the previous sentence is intentional in an effort to be ironic.)

But i swear when i look at others, it seams like its me..of course it isn't true, but there is that crazy part of all of us that will always question it.

Some of us are not crazy, but merely boring sheep. The price of greater individuality is sometimes greater isolation and greater pain. Nothing of value is free.

[inside the sun]

[some 'leaders' spot a cultural trend and move just ahead of it, thus appearing to be leaders. Such people are called politicians.]

 

this def. made me laugh, very clever. :-D

Thank you though, your answer was very good and def. opened my mind and made me think more.

 

It is true though, when you strive for individualism, you feel the word, the thought the notion, individual, alone.

[IDMclean]

I myself am one whom chooses Alienation over complance. It is born of much anger from times past. The moments which burned brighter than a thousand suns, staying forever a place in my mind. I relieve these moments here in the present and so for me they are not of the past.

 

I have cemented in my mind places-times when a fundamental belief value was born, and they give me strength. I refuse to be the sheep, and this often makes me seem hostile to those who concider being part of the herd nessessary.

 

I know though that what works for others may work for me, but would violate that which I hold sacred in my being, that which makes me, me. I wonder often times if there ever will be some one who could convince me to violate though fundamental beliefs, and who could then change me, perhaps for the better.

 

Often times I come across those who would tell me the secret of happiness lies within conformity to the group. I find this false. I find that whenever I rely upon others for fundamentals, they fail me everytime, and I fail them. Groups and I do not work well together, because often times the group does what the group does, and I can not abide their action, nor them abide mine.

 

I walk my path, alone, and happy. I feel pangs of sorrow, but never regret for this choice.

 

I wish often times that I would find someone to be alone with.

 

Then we could be lonely together.

[inside the sun]

I wish often times that I would find someone to be alone with.

 

Then we could be lonely together.

 

i agee, i want to stand alone, to be an individual, but i don't want to be alone

[Eclogite]

Strategy 1:

The decision as to going with the group, or taking a lone stand can be a difficult one. One aspect to consider is to look at all 'battles' as a matrix. There are important battles and there are unimportant battles. [You know which is which if you think about it carefully.] There are also battle you can win and battles you will lose.

 

Never fight the unimportant battle that you will lose. Never.

Fight every unimportant battle that you can win, if and only if you wish to gain a reputation for being belligerent.

Fight every important battle, whether you can win it or not, but no when to leave the battlefield with enough forces intact to continue the war.

 

Strategy 2:

Ask yourself, which is more important - that you are seen to be right; or that right is achieved.

Too often in pursuing the right course we become unbearably righteous. It is then hardly surprising that the group(s) turn against us, even those who we might have expected to be allies.

 

Softly, softly cathchee monkey.

 

In my earlier post I made disparaging remarks about politicians; I would not do the same about politics. Politics is the oil that lubricates the interaction of groups and individuals. We don't have to win every battle. We don't even have to see them as battles.

 

We have a goal. If we are mature we should recognise that goal, while important to us, may be of secondary value to others. This does not mean they are wrong, arrogant, stupid, or indifferent. It simply means they have a different perspective.

Look for common ground. Look for win-win opportunities. Rejoice in mutual success and regret victory that leaves one group or individual with the acrid taste of defeat.

 

 

Sorry, was I rambling?

[InfiniteNow]

Hoping my tone comes across as understanding and not smart ***...

 

I honestly don't feel like i am the one responsiable for my isolation when i feel isolated,but maybe i am.

Who else would be responsible for it but you?

 

I feel different, and its hard to connect and relate, and i def. don't think im better or someones worse, it's just hard to find someone who i can relate to. Someone who understands me and i understand them.

It sounds like you are trying to better understand yourself. After all, those "others" out there are only perceptible once they've become part of our own consciousness.

 

Oddly, there are many others "out there" who tend to feel alone, and if nothing else, you all are very similar just by that fact. Strange, and seemingly paradoxical, but true all the same. You are part of a very large group when having feelings like this.

 

 

It is precisely the fact that we are all unique which makes us all the same.

 

Cheers. :)

[inside the sun]

Fight every unimportant battle that you can win, if and only if you wish to gain a reputation for being belligerent.

 

<3

 

Sorry, was I rambling?

hey man, that is the topic of this post :-D.

 

It sounds like you are trying to better understand yourself.

Yeah, for as long as i can remember,the thing i love most is that i been trying for X amount of time, and people come along and right away try to say they know me, or only after Y amount of time, which to X is nothing at all.But maybe other people can know me better than i will choose to know myself afterall, we do have our walls,but im sure i leave barracades (pardon my spelling) for others and false doors just as much as i do for myself equally making it hard if not harder to understand, yet i want to understand myself...what is it that holds me back, fear? The unknown, or simply the fact that we cannot understand ourselves, or can we..once again, i do the ramble walk with my fingers on the keyboard

[Eclogite]

But maybe other people can know me better than i will choose to know myself afterall,

Google the concept of Johari windows, a four square matrix of personality characteristics.

One axis is known to self, unknown to self; the other axis is known to others, not known to others. Useful idea.

[inside the sun]

sounds good. I somtimes think maybe i have multiple personalities, those who know me very well also get that thought. If this theory has anything to do with that concept, it will be useful information, when i was 13 i swore i was skitzophrenic, and then maybe i thought i might be bipolar, mostpeoplesay im probably neither

[inside the sun]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johari_window

 

there'sa good link with a model, yeah, i guess my orginally thought on what you meant was off, but i can also see where i drew the conclusion aka assumption,lol. However i def. agree with this and like it, thank you for sharing, i shall research moreon it,and i put the link for others to check out also,its quite simple