Dwelling within the moment

[IDMclean]

I wonder. This is something I do very often.

 

I was recently brought back to a moment in my life and I lived vividly, both as the one I was, and as the one I am, for that moment.

 

I find that I dwell in my past often, and I know this to be something which one is not supposed to do as it will bring about suffering of the self, if one attaches desire to something of impermanence.

 

However, I am stricken at the same time by saying such as:

As the river flows, so does time. As the river repeats, so shall time.

Know your past, study it, or else you shall be doomed to repeat it.

 

I wonder, though. If I relive those moments, which some would call the past, are they truely that? Or are they infact part of my present, and other's pasts?

 

That I put so much in them that I remember what color my teeshirt was, and what time it was, I wonder if perhaps I never left that moment, and live in it still to this day.

 

That I refuse to let go of those moments have been very useful for me, often times the moments I relive are those where fundamental beliefs that I hold sacred, as part of me, were born. Reliving thosem moments allow me to redouble my resolve and persevere in the harshest of circumstances.

 

Is it then that I am dwelling, or that I am being?

 

What is better? To have loved and lost, or to never have loved in the first place?

 

What makes your stronger? To have failed, and later succeeded, having tried again due to past failure. Or to have failed and simply walked on, never knowing wheather you could?

 

Should I leave that which drives me in the past, and let it be that or should I keep it with me always and let it be part of my present, here with me now, while I write this?

 

-I am one who is I am, and Omnipresent in my life,

KickAssClown

 

(funny note: this is my 666th post.)

[InfiniteNow]

Regardless of where/when you think you are, or when/where your mind wonders, you are always right now. What's unhealthy is focussing all of your energy into past experiences and forgetting that you are living right now.