What's Goin On in Our Real Lives

[Pyrotex]

...and the low-profile white-wall tyres! And where's the damn chromed running board? Pyroflex, these guys are doing you in! I also didn't see anything about a rear-view mirror - where you hang your dice from, brother?!?

You can at least insist on a custom spray job? With flames 'n stuff? Or is that aftermarket?

Okay, okay, okay.

You know, I had to draw the line somewhere since I will have to pay for all the non-essentials. So the chrome and custom spray job had to go. The fuzzy dice hang from the joystick. The rear-view mirror is after-market and costs more than the armrest pockets (120 USD each!). Installling BlueTooth and a swivel laptop holder was cheaper (99 USD!).

Oddly enough, the automatic condom dispenser is considered standard equipment.

[TheBigDog]

Pictures! We need to see this pimped-out new ride of yours. :cup:

 

Bill

[Pyrotex]

Pictures! We need to see this pimped-out new ride of yours...

As soon as it arrives. Around November 15.

[Pyrotex]

My condition continues to improve as I stretch, do reaching exercises, and attempt to do small things that i couldn't do the day before. Formal therapy, involving lifting and pushing heavy forces starts this week, I hope. They say it's painful. I'll take pain over boredom.

[TheBigDog]

They say it's painful. I'll take pain over boredom.

Is there a more manly man amongt us?

 

Cheers! :cocktail: :friday:

 

And the new chair is a birthday present to yourself? (Nov 15)

 

Bill

[Pyrotex]

Is there a more manly man amongst us?...

It is very likely there is, but I suggest we have better things to do than to identify him (or her!) right now.

Therapy is 8 AM MWF for an hour. The rehab clinic is just 4 blocks from the office. So far, I am producing measurable and significant improvement on every visit. The pain is highly over-rated. I occassionally say 'ouch!' but I have not had to shoot any therapists. Yet. The cold pack at the end and a couple of ibuprofens provide more than adequate relief.

 

So, I say I am out of the tunnel. Now there is just a short "on-ramp" to climb and an easy merge into the traffic on the highway of (normal) life. Made it! HOO-RAH!!! Piece of cake. Made in the shade. Day on the beach. ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

[Turtle]

So, I say I am out of the tunnel. Now there is just a short "on-ramp" to climb and an easy merge into the traffic on the highway of (normal) life. Made it! HOO-RAH!!! Piece of cake. Made in the shade. Day on the beach. ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

 

Just another piece of pi for you, eh old rascal!? How about 'another notch in you gun'? :shrug: ;) Too personal? :hihi: Well, good to hear you're on the mend and best regards to your better half. ;)

[Pyrotex]

Just another piece of pi for you, eh old rascal!? How about 'another notch in you gun'? :hihi: ;) Too personal? :Guns: Well, good to hear you're on the mend and best regards to your better half. :)

thank you muchly!! it is good to be human again.

[Pyrotex]

Well, this thread kinda went dry for six weeks, but not much happened until last Thursday. The new wheelchair came in! :hyper: :hyper:

 

It goes up and down like a barber chair -- over a range of 10 inches. At the tippy top, I'm only 5 inches shorter than my wife, and this makes for some really good hugs!

 

It tilts back, which makes for some nice naps at the office. ssshhh... Don't tell anybody.

 

From the front, it looks like an executive office chair. Very professional and sleek. It does weigh in at 120 kilos, though! :eek: And it was made in Sweden!!! Hey, Tormod, that's like nextdoor to you, so THANKS!!!

 

It even has gas shock absorbers. Smooth.

 

There is one bad thing, though. The larger drive wheels are in front. Passive castors are in the rear. This makes steering a major problem for someone who has used rear drive wheels for 55 years!! :hyper:

 

I have knocked over two chairs, an end table, broken 3 glasses, run over one cat's tail (Harley has yet to forgive me), put 6 gouges in the walls, 3 bad nicks in the van, and rolled over a woman's toe. And she was limping on a cane at the time. No kidding! I felt soooooo bad! :( At work, I turned to greet someone, and I slammed into my manager's ankle. oooooohhhh god.

 

As soon as I get a picture I will post it. Them. Several. Yeah.

[InfiniteNow]

There is one bad thing, though. The larger drive wheels are in front. Passive castors are in the rear. This makes steering a major problem for someone who has used rear drive wheels for 55 years!! :hyper: :hyper:

 

I have knocked over two chairs, an end table, broken 3 glasses, run over one cat's tail (Harley has yet to forgive me), put 6 gouges in the walls, 3 bad nicks in the van, and rolled over a woman's toe. And she was limping on a cane at the time. No kidding! I felt soooooo bad! :( At work, I turned to greet someone, and I slammed into my manager's ankle. oooooohhhh god.

Okay, not to be insensitive or anything, but...

:eek:

 

 

:hyper:

 

Maybe you should try drinking first. :(

 

[Buffy]

I have knocked over two chairs, an end table, broken 3 glasses, run over one cat's tail (Harley has yet to forgive me), put 6 gouges in the walls, 3 bad nicks in the van, and rolled over a woman's toe. And she was limping on a cane at the time. No kidding! I felt soooooo bad! At work, I turned to greet someone, and I slammed into my manager's ankle. oooooohhhh god.

We will have to start calling you Pyro Clouseau...

 

Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world,

Buffy

[Pyrotex]

Okay, not to be insensitive or anything, but...

 

 

...

 

...Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world, :phones:

Buffy

 

:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

 

You know of course... This Means War

[Tormod]

And it was made in Sweden!!! Hey, Tormod, that's like nextdoor to you, so THANKS!!!

 

No. THIS means war. :phones:

 

 

:evil:

 

Congrats, mate! Is the built-in minibar working already?

[Pyrotex]

...Congrats, mate! Is the built-in minibar working already?

well... yes. But from day one, it was obviously not big enough!!

[Pyrotex]

Chapter IX -- The Case of the Wayward Wheelchair

 

Pyro Clouseau, intrepid investigator, goes to church (Unitarian, if you must know) in his new wheelchair for the first time. On impulse, he raises the seat to its full height, making him fully 5 feet tall. Women of all ages, who would only smile a quick hello in passing, now stop and make full eye contact. Intimate eye contact. Quivering little smiles now adorn their full, luscious lips. They pause in midstep, uncertain as to what action they should take. Pyro's eyebrows do a subtle dance above his dark, penetrating eyes. The women swoon ever so slightly, and against their better judgment, find themselves embracing the tall, dashing (and very manly) Pyro in a friendly hug.

 

Then they experience a sharp pain as their toes are crushed by an inadvertent jiggle of the joystick. Indeed, Pyro finds himself helpless to prevent these warm, feminine embraces from jiggling his joystick every time. The ladies part reluctantly, with tears in their eyes, but are they tears of passion or of pain?

 

Pyro is left with mixed feelings (four waists for every butt). Perhaps he should call the manufacturer and have the joystick redesigned? He fancies a larger joystick, but would this make his public encounters riskier? Maybe there's a way to temporarily lock the joystick in place? Do they make codpieces for wheelchair joysticks?

 

With deep regrets, Pyro must attenuate the height of his wheelchair. The air is rather thin at 5 feet, and the chair is not equipped with supplemental oxygen. Besides, FAA rules forbid him to maintain full height for more than ten minutes at a time within ten miles of an airport.

 

The chair bottoms out and once again his vision is dominated by bellies and belt-buckles. He glances up to see herds of chins and nostrums of nosehair. Once again, he becomes a social cypher, a victim of "short" attention spans.

 

But wait! Pyro grins slyly. He may have another way of getting their attention, if not their approval. He flicks on the optional 'speed package'. Twin electric linear-DC motors rev up, their whine climbing up into inaudible range. He punches the two safety switches and slams the joystick full over.

 

Perhaps he should have done this outside....

[Tormod]

(four waists for every butt)

 

May the fours be with you!!! :hihi:

 

Now, how did the heat seeking missiles turn out? A smashing success?

[Boerseun]

He fancies a larger joystick, but would this make his public encounters riskier?

Go for the larger joystick, Pyro. When it comes to matters such as these, it seems that size does, indeed, count.