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  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

PART 1

 

...Speaking of sucking, there was this bald politician once who loved when someone got a plunger and used it on his girlfriend.

 

PART 2

 

He was trying to go to the happy place, but the evil was tempting everywhere. Seduced, he joined three eager freshman on a trip to Health Services, made by the ones who contracted beatific political quantifiability resulting in neurodegenerative bone-itis of the anterior danglias limpus… requiring biological Drano from Uranus.

 

Contrapuntally, cavity searches found a time portal, which brought him to Roman times. Soon after, a large wooden horse was rolled into a condom brand that Homer used. Unfortunately, it broke… the world record for the quickest premature literary epic there ever was.

 

Splendiferous confabulations predominately confused monosyllabic representatives of epistemological subtleties. I love you; you dirty little plutonium ingesting mutant, said Dark Mind. Having chosen Dark, the bisexual transvestite tumbled the loon onto his back until he was blue all over.

 

Suddenly, the red light started flashing, which means the giant frog was about to go save the Princess. But the princess kissed the frog, which started to transmorph bipedal appendages, turning into a monkey. But not a second later, the monkey had a seizure that caused a bystander to frown… Which rhymes with going to town in a gown with a clown upside down about to drown with a brown and blue peacock.

 

Then, he awoke to the sound of a circumcision and a slimy dripping splash coming from above his right testicle. Without a hydrocele-fixing procedure he was doomed. Then suddenly, a bright idea flashed across my mind, so scintillatingly splendiferous, that I spilled green pea soup from my anus.

 

Filled saucepan halfway, resembling spongiform minerals, simmered softly away dissolving political ambition from flatuous aroma to tantalizing taste. There was also an earthy, nutty flavor of energy drinks that made kids puke all over his face. With handkerchief he removed the vomit pea soup mixture into a toilet bowl and flushed it down. Never go anywhere without a towel to wipe your sweaty brow.

 

However, having drifted far into the ocean, the towel sank to the bottom. Then, a fish puked up Jonah… stinking like hell, semi digested, completely emaciated, feeling like hell, frolicking anyway toward a black hole with joyous anticipation of the blastocyst. Shiny happy aliens peddling rhesus feces.

 

Slimy old string of raw chicken feet taste like crap, even with ketchup. Delectably diced up with sweet and sour steamin’ udder juice. When I was going for a chilidog, noxious sewer water inundated the hotdog cart’s water. Apart from ruining the lives of many yellow bellied stars of my fat lovely aunt, who smells funny especially when she profusely emits harmful gasses from her evil green colored butt, she said slowly, “never pinch the swollen red tissue around the orifice. You be warned!” she said ominously. She also added that something smells.

 

She started sniffing the languid tropical three toed sloths in the trees. “Phew!” she exclaimed as she wiped off her face with a tissue that was covered with sloth slime. So, then she looked down the scope of a very scientific machine. It looked like cheap painted brick… painted deep pink…

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