Was Jesus Married?

[TheFaithfulStone]

You must neg-rep some others before neg-repping asimon2006 again.

 

Too bad. :hihi:

 

Christ is gay.

 

This is bad right?

 

And he wears fur, whilst clubbing baby seals to death with an elephant tusk club. He also drives an overpowered, oversized gas-guzzling SUV.

 

But these are good! I'm so confused!

 

Does Jesus hate Mexicans and Labor Unions?

 

TFS

[Pyrotex]

"Art thou inflamed at the heathen who do not swear allegiance to thy words of righteous anger? Beware, lest the Holy Sand of the Spirit be pounded up thy unclean orifice." Hezekiah 11:24-25

[catholiboy]

"Be thou inflamed at the heathen who do not swear allegiance to thy words of righteous anger? Beware, lest the Holy Sand of the Spirit be pounded up thy unclean orifice." Hezekiah 11:24-25

 

Look at this. Immediately, Pyro has found a text which should solve all the problems.

But no, because so many of my catholic brethren are SO GODDAMN IGNORANT of the Bible.

 

Return to topic commencing in 5...

[Pyrotex]

4...3...2...1...

I remember in my Bible thumping days, when a college roommate tried to persuade me that Jesus was married, and that St. Paul was gay (his "thorn in the flesh"). I went ballistically ballistic. He laughed so hard at my discomfort that I wanted to throttle him. Later, I decided that one day I would know the scripture so well, that nobody could make a fool of me again.

 

Well, a couple of years later, I had the time and incentive to read the entire Bible through a couple of times. It was exhausting. But I did, and the final outcome was... I didn't care any more. So what if Jesus dipped his wick in the well? What business is it of mine? Either his teachings were good -- on their own -- or they weren't. So what if St. Paul was gay, does that mean we are honor bound to completely re-interpret his writings? What's the brouhaha?

 

We want our heros to be perfect.

We want to be the definers of "perfect".

[Cedars]

You guys got it all wrong.

 

Jesus was Bi. He swingeth his sword both ways.

 

Gotta give Piece a chance!

[Pyrotex]

...Jesus was Bi. He swingeth his sword both ways....!

Maybe he was tri. (!!!!) Those cherubim are awfully cute. :)

[Turtle]

Turtle if you are so great how about you do a little bit of magic of your own. Jesus was magician, (LOL, stupid stupid) If St. George would heard this blasphemy from you, I bet he would pound your face into the ground and I bet he would make you understand who your maker was.

 

I'll take this one. :eek: :evil: First, as to challenging authority with reason, I seem to recall Jesus tipping some tables? Next, (and thank you Southtown for demonstrating the proper use of pertinent scripture references), I want to get to the Old Testament book of Exodus, where we have some very detailed descriptions of the magic tricks known to Jesus (and we too).

 

So, we have a history of skilled magicians, in multiple cultures, of which Jesus was aware. There is no discontinuity in concluding he learned those tricks and came up with some of his own. Saw a lady in half, nail a guy to a cross. Special apparatus and a group of confederates go with any magic act.

 

Christ is gay.

 

This is bad right?

No...a lot of people in show business are gay. The most recent research indicates gaiety is nature & not nurture, that is to say it's not a choice.

 

Does Jesus hate Mexicans and Labor Unions?

TFS

Jesus' love of a dupe transcends nationality, race, political affiliation, and sexual preference. He was (is?) an equal opportunity Sting(er). :cup:

[Pyrotex]

I'll take this one....Jesus' love of a dupe transcends nationality, race, political affiliation, and sexual preference. He was (is?) an equal opportunity Sting(er). :evil:

Ahhh, Turtle me lad! Once again you've come through with a scintillating post and a rousing rejoinder to those nay-sayers! Me hat's off to ya!

Here, take me arm and let me buy you a drink down at the pub!

No, I insist!

So waddaya think? Was this Jesus character married or just living in sin?

Perhaps he had groupies, didja ever think of that?

And what with him cadwalloping around with all those single men, do you think he might have stepped 'over the line' whenever it suited him, aye?

Sure enough!

And can't you just see him there sittin' under an olive tree, watching Mary Magdelene taking her bath in the river, and whacking off? Oh, to be sure he did, now! I have it on authority he was a 'leftie'.

Ahhh. Here's the pub now.......

[Turtle]

Ahhh, Turtle me lad! Once again you've come through with a scintillating post and a rousing rejoinder to those nay-sayers! Me hat's off to ya!

Here, take me arm and let me buy you a drink down at the pub!

No, I insist!

So waddaya think? Was this Jesus character married or just living in sin?

Perhaps he had groupies, didja ever think of that?

And what with him cadwalloping around with all those single men, do you think he might have stepped 'over the line' whenever it suited him, aye?

Sure enough!

And can't you just see him there sittin' under an olive tree, watching Mary Magdelene taking her bath in the river, and whacking off? Oh, to be sure he did, now! I have it on authority he was a 'leftie'.

Ahhh. Here's the pub now.......

 

Why you handsome loveable sage old gentleman :evil: ; you may of course take my arm, if I may just hang my purse on your handle. No queerer to meet you in such accord than déjà vu. Pardon, allow me to get the door... So as I was saying, what do you think of the idea that the Gypsy tinkers were in on the crusifixon tirck?

[TheBigDog]

You guys are so stupid it's not even funny. If Jesus wasn't married to Mary Magdalene, why does it says in the Gospel of Philip that Jesus and Mary were married and that his mom wasn't conceived by the Holy Spirit and that the Holy Spirit was a woman. IN terms, Philip says if we think that Mary was conceived by a woman, we are in error(Meaning we are wrong.) Chacmool he is ignorant, Jesus loved us, if he didn't he wouldn't have died on the cross for us.

 

Turtle if you are so great how about you do a little bit of magic of your own. Jesus was magician, (LOL, stupid stupid) If St. George would heard this blasphemy from you, I bet he would pound your face into the ground and I bet he would make you understand who your maker was.

asimon, you have clearly demonstrated that you are far out of your league here. There was a simple question posed by this thread. And there are a great many things written on the topic and they contain conflicting information in almost every imaginable way. You can choose the texts that you choose to believe, and others can choose the texts that they choose to believe. You can discuss the merits of the verious texts to determine their historical validity. But you cannot attack the intelligence of other members no matter how much their researched opinions vary from your own.

 

So cool it, or leave. You have reached the limits of your welcome, and a sudden shift in attitude is the only thing that might help you at this point.

 

Bill

[asimon2006]

TheBigDog, so if Christ was gay how am I his descendant. It doesn't matter if the nobody found anything about the Da Vinci painting or Dan Brown writing is so called truth. On everything I found out their were people hiding the truth of the Son of God. They kept it hidden for centureis. I'm trying to help him so he can suffer eternal damnation. If you want to die Turtle and die again and become of no existence like you were not their be my guest. But don't say I didn't warn you.

[TheBigDog]

TheBigDog, so if Christ was gay how am I his descendant. It doesn't matter if the nobody found anything about the Da Vinci painting or Dan Brown writing is so called truth. On everything I found out their were people hiding the truth of the Son of God. They kept it hidden for centureis. I'm trying to help him so he can suffer eternal damnation. If you want to die Turtle and die again and become of no existence like you were not their be my guest. But don't say I didn't warn you.

Your warning relies on faith, and I may find out after death. My warning will hit home in just a few minutes. Goodbye.

 

Bill

[Southtown]

No...a lot of people in show business are gay. The most recent research indicates gaiety is nature & not nurture, that is to say it's not a choice.

So is bisexuality... nevermind. I keep expecting people to approach debate logically.

[Turtle]

So is bisexuality... nevermind. I keep expecting people to approach debate logically.

 

No no, you are right; we mind, we mind. You are making the point that if he was bi then he may also have been married and/or had progeny...Yes? If so, I agree; if not I welcome your correction as you wield a gentle whip. ;)

[Southtown]

I was wondering if bisexuality would be by choice.

[Turtle]

I was wondering if bisexuality would be by choice.

The whip! The whip! ;) A qualified no. The preference is innate, be it straight, gay, or bi; however it may be a choice to act on a preference. :)

[HydrogenBond]

There is no record of Jesus being married by law. But he may have been married via love and in the eyes of God. Since Jesus was the son of God, it could have been a closed ceremony with the Big Guy.

 

Mary Magdeline appears to be the logical choice if Jesus was married in spirit. She was healed of seven demons. The number seven is connected to old testament seven days of creation and the seven mounts and gods of Rome. The demons being expelled got rid of the two darksides of these two sevens, i.e., knowledge of good and evil. What was left was an ideal bride for Jesus.

 

The second bible data was the fact that Mary Mag, went to the cave where Jesus body was kept. She went there to annoit his dead body. In Jewish tradition this was the job of the wife. If there had not been a strong bond Mother Mary would have done it.

 

Another reason Mary Mag was a good choice by God was that she had been a temple priestest who was well connected. Even with her obvious connection to Jesus, she was untouchable since she could call in favors. She could come and go without fear of harm or blame.